In September of 2007, I married the girl of my dreams. Five months later, Jennifer was diagnosed with Stage 3B Breast Cancer. Completely numb and in a state of disbelief, we entered the world of cancer. A double mastectomy, four months of chemotherapy, five weeks of daily radiation, reconstructive surgery and finally we were told that Jennifer was free of cancer. It was just after our first anniversary.
Cancer, however, opted again to interrupt our life. Some two years after Jen’s initial diagnosis, we received news that the breast cancer had metastasized to her liver and hip; ultimately the cancer made its way to Jen’s brain. A little over a year and a half after this second diagnosis, Jennifer passed.
During our battle, we were blessed with an incredible support group. Nonetheless, most people are not aware of the challenges that we faced every day. Little do they know that Jen was in chronic pain from the side effects of nearly 4 years of treatment and medications. Jen had to use a walker and cane and was exhausted from being constantly aware of every bump, bruise or twitch. Fear, anxiety and worries were constant. Frequent doctor visits led to battles with hospitals and insurance companies and hospital stays of 10-plus days were not uncommon.
Sadly, most people do not want to hear these realities and at certain points we felt our support fading away. Other cancer survivors share this loss. People assume that treatment makes you better, that things become OK, that life goes back to “normal.” However, there is no normal in cancer-land. Cancer survivors have to define a new sense of normal, often daily. And how can others understand what we had to live with everyday?
My photographs show this daily life. They humanize the face of cancer, on the face of my wife. They detail the treatments forced into and onto her body. They show the challenge, difficulty, fear, sadness, loneliness and also love that we faced, that Jennifer faced, as she battled this disease. These photographs do not define us, but they are us. Cancer is in the news daily, and maybe, through these photographs, the next time a cancer patient is asked how he or she is doing, along with listening, the answer will be met with more knowledge, kinder empathy, deeper understanding, sincere caring and heartfelt concern.
