Reminders...

Today I visited my doctor for a checkup. While filling out paperwork I got to this part and felt a lump in my throat.

Breast exam 1232013.jpg

A few minutes later, as if it was scripted, "No One" by Alicia Keys came on the radio. Jen loved this song and I remember the first time she played it for me, we were sitting in bed with one earpiece in my ear and the other in Jen's. Forget the lump in my throat, now I wanted to grab the nurse and start crying.

So I got myself back together and a few minutes later the doctor called me in. As he listened to my inner workings with a stethoscope I was clinging to every second..."Why is he listening so long in that spot? What does he hear?" Of course I immediately thought about Jen and all of the tests, procedures, treatments...I'm so mad that Jen had to go through so much and suffer the way she did.

I know there were amazing moments but today I am just angry and I miss Jen so much.