Our Italian restaurant...

Listening to The Stranger by Billy Joel. Scenes From an Italian Restaurant is playing...

"A bottle of red, a bottle of white

It all depends on your appetite

I'll meet you any time you want

In our Italian Restaurant."

Makes me think of Frank, the restaurant where I proposed to Jen.  The best thing about this memory is that it brings happiness. Every day gets a little brighter.

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I had it so good

Last night I was looking at this portrait while I listened to "Moon River" (Morrissey's version). It hit me just how good I had it. Jen was so damn cool. She believed in me, even when I didn't. She picked me up when I was down, and never held it over my head. She just wanted me to believe in myself and follow my dreams. 

I know I was lucky to have been Loved like this in my lifetime, but it still hurts like hell.

 

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Be good to each other

Last night after celebrating their birthdays my mom was looking at photographs from my parent's trip to Italy in 1991. She asked my dad if he remembered the names of the people in one of the photos. Dad responded with names, paused, then said, "They were good to us." Mom agreed. 

I felt like they were passing on 86 & 85 years worth of how to live - "Be good to each other." 

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No judging, just loving

I remember coming home with my first mohawk...Jen loved it. One of the coolest things about Jen was that she didn't judge - what mattered was who you are. 

The way we saw our relationship was like this - You walk out the door in the morning with your helmet on and life tries to break you down. When you get home there is no reason to need a helmet. We wanted to make life easier and happier for each other.

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The SS Love-It-All, May 2013

Last week I bought a bicycle, my first one since I was a teenager. Today I took the SS Love-It-All out for its maiden voyage. When I got home I thought about Jen and the day she started using a walker. I remember a few months prior to that day when the pain from Jen's cancer put an end to Jen's jogging, which she loved to do. 

Nothing is too small to take for granted. 

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Will you marry me

In October of 2006 I moved to New York with an engagement ring burning a hole in my pocket. On the night I arrived Jen and I had dinner at this restaurant. After we finished eating I got down on one knee and asked Jen to marry me. Jen yelled "SHUT UP!!!!!!" I remember thinking, "I sold everything I own except for my cats and a few cameras...what does shut up mean??"

After what felt like forever Jen put her finger out and I could breathe again.

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